Here it is - the untold and harrowing true story of Alcatraz Smedry, represented here in all his dastardly goodness and wonderful deviousness in his first adventure against the Evil Cult of Librarians. You may not yet realize that the world is run by this cult, even high members of our government are unaware of their all encompassing control. But Alcatraz is one of a long line of Occulators, highly skilled warriors and spies dedicated to the eradication of this menace. Though he has spent his life in foster care, shuffled from one house to another because of his amazing ability to break things by simply touching them, he is the long awaited hero that the world needs. On his thirteenth birthday, a bag of ordinary looking sand appears on his doorstep. This bag of sand is labeled his inheritance, and from that moment on, all sorts of chaos ensues and a delightful story unfolds.

By now, it is probably very late at night, and you have stayed up to read this book when you should have gone to sleep. If this is the case, then I commend you for falling into my trap. It is a writer's greatest pleasure to hear that someone was kept up until the unholy hours of the morning reading one of this books. It goes back to authors being terrible people who delight in the suffering of others. Plus, we get a kickback from the caffeine industry.